Talking about starting something new is exciting, even when it’s scary. Sometimes, that anxious feeling propels me to try it anyway – I have never been the person to be held back because I am scared of most things. This week should be much easier, or that’s what I think anyway.
It’s been overwhelming, honestly. I have been going through many cycles of “new beginnings” lately. New Jobs turned into a New Career that turned into realizing where I wanted to go and do. Now I am enrolling in additional courses and doing a lot of shadow work around Health & Wellness, Shamanism, Healing through Art, and Herbalism.
It has been so exciting to start aligning with what calls to me.
But I find this is a spiral for me; I keep coming back to old ideas and concepts of whom I am supposed to be. So I revisit it and feel how it resonates less this time around and how this new path call for me a bit more – pulling me down that path deeper as I start to align with the life I wish to pursue. I am being drawn into the dance again and asked to do the things I am terrified of failing at. So the excitement is up, and the worry is in my belly, but I know it will be worth it as I advance forward.
I’ve known a lot of ‘new starts’ – I was the new kid at every school I went to until I was 15, and I changed schools directly after that. I am used to change, but I know it takes a while to get a feel for every change. I moved a lot until recently, a transition point as I look for a home to buy. It will be a considerable change to stay in one spot for a while.
I want to learn how to make my own home and create comfortable living with routines and proper places for things. So I continue to look for the right spot.
The ability to be stable and create time to learn about myself is so new that I continue to fill my time up when I need to lean into that time to grow. It is also learning to follow my passions and learn more about myself, outside of needing help and being for others. Helping others is a huge passion, but it does not mean I need to be anyone else to gain approval. That is a goal of 2022, to learn to be me – no matter who is in the room with me.
The recent breakup in my life has me torn up a bit, but it also has me realizing that I don’t want to live my life to be less than someone else. I have big emotions, but I am not too much, and it’s during this break I am learning where I end and where others begin. I am learning to fill my cup, so it overflows into others instead of draining myself for others.
So my new beginnings come down to:
- Establishing a Home
- Establishing an Internal World again
- Filling my life with my passions, not others
- Studying Herbalism & Shamanism